Dirk van Duijvenbode is on top of the dart world after qualifying for the finals of the World Grand Prix final, and he did it all with his faithful eggplant.
No, this time “eggplant” isn’t a euphemism for genitals. It’s an actual, real, purple eggplant. Despite being one of the most famous darts players on the planet, the eggplant is an ode to van Duijvenbode’s roots as an eggplant farmer, pun not intended.
This really works on multiple levels. Firstly, he’s representing his personal life in the sport he loves, which is good, because I like seeing athletes express themselves, but then I started thinking about this a little more and it made even more sense.
The eggplant is unquestionably one of the world’s most threatening vegetable. I’m talking about regular, store-bought products here. Sure, you could eat some mushrooms off an old log and kill yourself, but go to the grocery store and you’ll be hard pressed to find something more difficult to deal with than the humble eggplant.
With something like broccoli you just need to rinse it, cut it up, season it, and roast it. Boom, done delicious. Eggplant is a whole thing. You need to cut it up, salt it, press it between paper towels, change out the towels to dry it out even more — then after hours of work is it finally okay to cook. When all the work is done it’s barely worth the effort. Mess up the process and it becomes a flavorless food sponge.
So, I really support someone using an eggplant as a threatening sports prop, because I’m afraid of it.