Mike Nolan suffered an unfortunate accident on Monday when the Cowboys’ defensive coordinator accidentally got Tabasco in his eyes and needed to call things early.
As someone with cripplingly low self esteem and a total lack of personal care, I decided to put this to the test and see if I could handle answering questions about the Cowboys’ defense, after putting a whole bunch of Tabasco sauce in my eyes.
It would answer a burning question: Am I tougher than Mike Nolan?
Okay, so my answers were kind of weak I know — but trying to look at a screen and parse text while your eyes are on fire turns out to be really difficult. Honestly, I don’t blame Nolan for tapping out because that really, really sucked. That said, I do feel extremely validated knowing that I could tough it out when Nolan couldn’t and that makes me feel good.
Don’t try this at home. Seriously. Allow me to make bad decisions for your entertainment, not for your replication.