There’s a new profile of Christian McCaffery in GQ this month, and the photos. The photos. My goodness, the photos. Instead of just telling you what these are, I’m going to show you — so you can enjoy while I’m picking my jaw up off the floor.
Okay, so obviously the Panthers’ running back is a very attractive man. That’s not why I’m struggling to articulate my feelings on this. McCaffery looks like a gigolo working for a high-class escort service and posing for their brochure. No, maybe it’s more like a prince from an obscure 1950s European country, destined to marry a movie starlet.
There are also levels to each photo, which I just love — so let’s give these some quick captions so you can get back to your day.
I’m going to wager that McCaffery’s Calvin Klein briefs cost more than this Target chair.
I’m 90% sure this is the cover of a romance novel about a British cabbie called “Destination Love.”
The cowboy hat is the obvious focal point, but don’t overlook a neckerchief which has no purpose. Also saggy 1920s prison pants.
I’m not going to tell anyone how to live their life, but balancing scalding hot tea on your genitals seems like a bad idea. Even with a sheet as a barrier.
Here’s McCaffery, pensively wondering why he still has a rotary telephone.
These photos are the only thing I care about today.